Yellow Submarine

Quotes from the very trippy movie, Yellow Submarine, featuring The Beatles.

Old Fred: Oh! Frankenstein!
Ringo: Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
Old Fred: His sister?
Ringo: Yeah, Phyllis.

Old Fred: Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!
Ringo: Which button?
Old Fred: That button.
Ringo: This button?
[presses the button and is ejected]
Ringo: Aaaahhhhh!
Old Fred: That was the panic button.

Paul: Look, it's a school of whales.
Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.
Paul: University then.
Ringo: University of "Wales".
John: They look like drop-outs to me.

John: Break the glass.
George: We can't!
Paul: It's Beatle-proof.
John: Nothing is Beatle-proof!

Old Fred: Help! Help! Help!
Ringo: No thanks, don't need any.
Old Fred: Won't you please, please help me!

Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.
Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now.
Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born "Liver-pooler."

[after Ringo ejects himself from the submarine]
Paul: Poor Ringo.
George: Poor lad.
Paul: Never did no harm to no one.
John: Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?
Old Fred: Learn to sing trios.
Paul: Naw, let's save the poor devil.

Ringo: Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?
Police Officer: No, no, I would not.
Ringo: Oh, yeah, didn't think you would. I could've sworn I saw a yellow submarine. But that's not logic now. Is it? It must've been one of them "Unidentified Flying Cupcakes". Or a figment of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.

George: Hey! There's a Cyclops!
Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes.
John: Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.
Ringo: There's another one.
John: A whole "'cyclopedia"!

Ringo: Oh, your story has touched me heart. Jump in. We'll get me friends.
Old Fred: Oh, bless you.
Ringo: Did I sneeze?

:D

Sex and Buying A New Car

Yeah.

Today, Donna threw my dad a suprise birthday party and when all his friends and he get together, it's laugh after laugh but usually on the R rated side. Mark and Blair are soon to be married and my dad, his friends Larry and Gary like to give Mark advice on how to be a good husband. You know, the "Just sit down, shut up, and nod like you're listening" speech. Well, today, sex came up and one after the other, they came up with ways on how sex is like buying a new car. Such as these examples:

1. You should test drive everything before you buy it.
2. Make sure you can reach the controls.
3. Make sure it's the right fit for you.
4. Butt warmers are a plus.
5. Make sure it runs smoothly.
6. You don't want it to quit on you within the first few drives.
7. No bumpy rides.

I'm sure there were more but I can't remember and if I started writing things down randomly in the middle of things, I'd have to explain everything and it would be a big mess.

So, that's that and er.. Good night.

Surprise! An Update!

Since Megan hasn't updated in a while, I'll take the wheel for a bit with some of the random quotes I've accumulated...

"If I had a compass, I could be a pirate!" - said by our friend Sarah, while she and I were hanging out together at the mall and looking at pirate stuff in the bookstore. She's working on a cool costume, apparently.

"Dude, you want some aloe vera for that burn?" - I heard it off of The Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, used in the sense that someone just got insulted, or "burned" as is the lingo. It's become a favorite of mine.

The following quotes were found on an interesting website, profquotes.com, which I hope to utilize this fall semester. Basically compiled of quotes that students get from their professors, similar to this blog, in a sense:
- "You are here to get an understanding, not good grades."
- (When asking how long our papers should be, our professor replied,) "Just like a girl's skirt - long enough to cover everything essential, short enough to keep it interesting."
- "There are three sexes: the male sex, the female sex, and the insects."
- "Put some jam in your pockets, 'cause we're all toast."
- "If I explain this or not, it doesn't matter. I'm wasting my time and you're wasting yours. I get paid for it and you don't..."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." - said by my roommate, Max, when we were chatting on Facebook. Apparently he has neon orange walls in his bedroom at home.

"...nothing teaches us more about who we are than seeing ourselves in the people we least expect." - a quote from one of my favorite tv shows, Greek.

Squeee.

Been like ages since I updated this. And it's summer! I should be hanging with my friends and collecting a shit ton of quotes. But I'm not. I dont know why. I'm kicking myself right now. But I do got a few quotes, only a few.

The first one is when Hazel and I were hanging at Chase's house and he was showing us his new old cookbooks.

Chase: On page 98, there's a cake recipe with my grandma in it!

Needless to say, we all laughed, even though we knew he meant that his grandma helped with it but it was just funny.

My last two are from Hazel. I was hanging out at her house tonight, helping her clean her room when she proceeded to trip and said:

"The gravity decided to say NO!"

Funny in the context and also funny that if you fall, gravity says yes. So we laughed... hard... when she said:

"I wonder why when people laugh hard, they want to fall to the ground. It's like ha ha HA HA, hi, floor!"

And she, of course, proceeded to demonstrate and then finished off with this:

"It's like, 'Hi, floor! Bring me a sandwich!'"

I'm not so sure where that last part came from but she said it and it was funnyyyyyyyy.

Facebook Convos.

So, last Thursday, a couple of my Highland friends (whom I will miss this summer) and I hung out. ALL DAY. The three of us walked around the little tiny town of Highland and eventually made it back to one of the classroom buildings where we proceeded to get on the computer (at the same time, next to each other) and we changed our facebook statuses. Then we commented on each other's while we were still sitting next to each other. I thought they were funny so I'm totally gonna put them here.

Mine first:

Megan is hanging with rebecca and krystal: we'll be the old people in the nursing home playing bumper cars with our hoverounds. Be jealous, bastards.

Rebecca: damn straight we will be..oh we need canes to so we can destruct things!!!!!
Megan: lol! those too! and DEPENDS!
Rebecca: fuck the depends i dont want them!! by then they will have invented something better then depends
Krystal: LOL Megan you no what you fucking stole my status that is what i was going to put on my FUCK YOU But Yes I agree
Rebecca: ooooooooooo......nd duck tape to tie everyone else up with!!
Megan: AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING. you only wish, krystal. we need to take pictures together cuz i need a new facebook pic.
Megan: lol rebecca.
Krystal: LOL good idea
Rebecca: krystal u cant spell its "mine" not "my" status
Megan: LOL somebody get a camera
Rebecca: its in my car..which is by ellis i guess we could go make some more noise and go get it..i dont think the chick next to us would like it!
Megan: yeah, she's getting pissed off a bit. but we need a camera!
Krystal: LOL yup
Megan: LETS GO
Rebecca: ok when we going and where with who for how many cookies and uhh should we go mudding? hahaha
Megan: now, somewhere, 10 bagillion cookies, yes
Rebecca: i like the cookie idea! hehe cant go wrong with mudding where we goin to find the truck?
Megan: erm. BRIAN HAS A TRUCK
Krystal: Hey sounds like a good Idea lets take the bitches truck mudding LOL
Megan: lol
Rebecca: i like that idea lets Take BRIANS truck..the little shit would never notice!! hed be to busy with "other things" ;)
Megan: yup yup.
Krystal: yup with bpa
Megan: not necessarily.

And now Becka's.

Rebecca is in highland..hanging out with megan and krystal..doing random things beind loud and having fun! oh and running away from tiny evil yapping dogs!! haha oh yeah megan you cant read!!! haha ya be jealous!!

Megan: BUT I CAN DO MATH! !@#$%%^#*@^%$
Rebecca: you cant do math if you cant read!!!
Megan: 2 + 2 = 4!@!!@$%&^#*^&^%#
Rebecca: that was so simple a retarded person could do that
Krystal: Wow you guys LOL :D
Megan: :'( < thats a fuckin tear right there, JERKS.
Krystal: LOL well megan I mean shit I am sorry You cant do either You cant read and you cant do math I sucks doesnt it :D
Rebecca: oh geeze megan you know i love ya..its ok that u fell off the special bus atleast u didnt hit ur head like krystal did when she fell!!
Megan: I hate you, tramp. FUCK YOU GUYS, I'M GOIN HOME
Rebecca: krystal u cant spell for nothing!
Megan: WHY ISNT ANYBODY COMMENTING ON MY STATUS
Krystal: LOL well you no what I am atleast Better then MEGAN!!! and Can READ AND DO MATH Fuck the Both You LOL
Megan: YOU WISH
Rebecca: no thanks krystal ur not my type..im getting to ur status megan hold ur horse gee wiz
Megan: lol
Krystal: LOL girls it waasnt an offer
Rebecca: good cuz i dont want it! i already got somebody!! :P
Krystal: LOL i no and I love him he is a good guy for you But hey I love how this went from yelling and screaming to Very Quite LOL and calm Commenting :P
Megan: lolz.
Rebecca: FUCK THAT SHIT IN THE ASS WITH A RAZOR!!! IT CAN NOT GO QUIET!!! I REFUSE BITCH!! and yes he is a good guy :)
Megan: LOL razors hurt asses.
Rebecca: oh do you know this from experience?
Megan: maybe.
Rebecca: oh sucks for you :( i guess u learnt ur lesson though
Megan: yeah btw, all these convos are goin in my blog fo sho.
Rebecca: lol sweetness...maybe we could get the freshmen next year to fall for it!! that would be HILARIOUS!!
Megan: LOL
Rebecca: haha mine left u all speech less!! bahahahaha such badassness!!
Megan: lollllllllll

:D
Last but not least, Krystal's.

Krystal Hanging out with Rebecca and Megan, running around screaming and yelling random things Fuck the 23 hour quite period I will yell outside so be fucking Jealous!!!!!

Rebecca: Amen sista!! brown chicken brown cow!! FUCK being quite I REFUSE to be...so YEEEPPIII summer is almost here but im going to miss you and megan but next semester woohoo people better watch out cuzz we'll be back and twice as bad!!
Megan: FUCK YEAH! cuz we be roommates, scarin the freshmens
Krystal: LOL Hell yes it will be amazing Sophomore Year here we come LOL the fucking Freshmen Better Be scared!!!! :P
Megan: lolz.
Rebecca: oh yes they better be trembling in their shoes!!!! cuz we some BADASS sophmores!!! highland hasnt seen any like us before!!!
Megan: LOL
Rebecca: the poor little freshman doesnt know whats goin to hit them
Megan: lol KRYSTAL YOUR STATUS CONVO SUCKS, BUDDY
Rebecca: yes it does you ARE NOT REPLYING AT ALL WHORE!!
Megan: TRAMP i fuckin cant keep up with you guys
Rebecca: wow u slow come on megan step up the pace geeze!
Krystal: Lol you cant keep up man I am way behind But I am having fun reading this LOL
Megan: SHUT IT whore
Rebecca: are you talkin to me megan?
Megan: yes.
Krystal: You whores need to shut up:P
Megan: fuck you
Rebecca: I thought so thanks for the compliment...so we are goin to show up in proper attire tomorrow for bpa final right???
Megan: HA we'll go muddin tomorrow at 7.45 am. then go to bpa
Krystal: Ya if you call a mini skirt and fish nets business attire then ya
Rebecca: that's exactly what i was talking about gotta have the stilletos though
Krystal: megan lets go muddin instead of going to bpa we can hot wire brians truck and go LOL
Rebecca: I LOVE YOUR IDEA KRYSTAL!!! FUCK BPA!!!
Megan: lol
Krystal: LOL i love it to and Yes becca the stilletos will do just fine as well
Megan: lol i have learned to stop trying to comment.
Rebecca: mini skirt skimp shirt fish netting and stilletos!!
Krystal: hell yeah i think that is totally business attire
Rebecca: completely and utterly they didnt say what kind of business attire it is the proper attire for our business!
Krystal: LOL that is all i can say :p
Megan: LOL i actually understood what rebecca said
Rebecca: hahaha omg megan...im glad u could understand that :P
Krystal: didnt say i understood her I DID DAMN IT MEGAN

Haha. Enjoy :D

Night At The Museum

I'm going to continue with movie quotes just to keep this blog alive until I get home for the summer next Wednesday.

Today's movie: Night at the Museum

Jedediah: No problemo, Gigantor.
Larry: Um, my names Larry, first of all okay, Jed? See I call you Jed, I don't call you tiny.
Jedediah: What's that supposed to mean?
Larry: Hey teeny, how does that sound?
Jedediah: I... I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
Larry: Okay, well Gigantor makes me sound like a freak.
Octavius: I don't. I just call you Larry.
Larry: Don't be a kiss-ass.

Teddy Roosevelt: [after seeing Larry slapping Dexter] Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?

[about Sacajawea]
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...

Larry: [looks up at Dexter] Hey, Dex, so, look. No hard feelings, all right?
Teddy Roosevelt: [Dexter slaps Larry in the forehead and Larry raises his clipboard to hit him] Lawrence!
Larry: You saw - you saw what he did just then...
Teddy Roosevelt: [interupting him] Who's evolved?
Larry: I am.
Teddy Roosevelt: Who's evolved?
Larry: I am!

:D

Resident Evil

Yeah, so I havent posted in ages. But I came up with a fun idea.

I'm currently watching the Resident Evil series (minus Degeneration) and I thought I would post my favorite quotes because some of them make me laugh.

So, here we go.Starting with the first Resident Evil

[Alice points her gun at Rain]
Rain: I'm not dead yet.
[Rain takes the gun from Alice]
Rain: I think I'll take this back.
Alice: I could kiss you, you bitch!

[Matt and Spence are helping Rain]
Rain: When I get outta here... think I'm gonna get laid.
Matt: Yeah, you might want to clean up a little bit first.

Matt: [held down] You can't do this!
Rain: [removing gas mask] Blow me.

Oh, how I love Rain.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

L.J.: GTA, Motherfucker! Oh, yeah! Ten points.

Nicholai Sokolov: [wrestling with a dog infected with the T-Virus] I've got this bitch!
[sees another dog coming to assist its friend]
Nicholai Sokolov: Oh, shit.

Alice: There's something down there.
Jill Valentine: Where?
Alice: There.
Peyton Wells: I don't see anything.
Alice: Well, that doesn't alter the fact that there *is* something down there.

L.J.: You motherfuckers is crazy! Look. That big motherfucker got a rocket launcher!

[L.J. walks into a building and is surrounded by 12 S.T.A.R.S. members]
L.J.: Shit! Maybe I was safer outside. Get them guns out of my damn face.
[a S.T.A.R.S. officer hands him a shotgun]
L.J.: Motherfucker, please. Look.
[opens up his jacket revealing two gold guns]
L.J.: My shit is custom.

Alice: How long ago have you been bitten?
Carlos Olivera: Three hours.
L.J.: What?
Alice: Today's your lucky day.
L.J.: [to Carlos] You should have told me you were bit, motherfucker, I'm hanging with you and shit!

Resident Evil: Extinction

L.J.: [he and Carlos have entered an abandoned motel] I'm gonna get me a room. I'll take a waterbed, a jacuzzi, and I'm gonna rent me a porno.

Betty: [nursing L.J.'s wounds] You like playing rough, huh?
L.J.: Oh, I've had worse.
Betty: I'm sure.
L.J.: But you've always been gentle with me, Betty.
Carlos Olivera: Oh, God. I'm leaving.


Haha.

I love this movie.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Mike Snifferpippets.

Mike Snifferpippets who?

Oh come on, how many Mike Snifferpippets do you know? Now let me in, it's cold out here.


Pretty much an awesome knock knock joke right there. Taken from the movie "Role Models".

At Target last week with Chase, we bought some chocolate rabbits, the edible ones. And we were in my car I think still and we decided to munch on them. He loves them, a little too much I think. But they were good, I'll admit that. Somewhere in his moans of ... I'm not sure ... but somewhere in there, he said that these rabbits were "Like a rabbit orgasm in your mouth." Caught me off guard. I was like wow.

Yeah, so when Chase and I went to Best Buy last week too, he was being rather difficult. Not his fault though. It was the technology. But anyway, we were talking about Chase being fancy I think because he bought an expensive camera ... and suddenly he said, "I'm Mr. Pancy Fants!" Instead of Fancy Pants .. yeah. Awesome. Way to go on that one, Chase.

That's all I got for now.

But I'm going to switch things up a bit. I'll still have my fun quotes but I'm feeling rather inspirational lately so I'm going to add some inspirational quotes too. Maybe like one or two that I fav that day. Like today, I have a good one for ya'll and it's what I'm going to end this short post with so Have a wonderful night! Until next time!

Be yourself because everybody else is taken.

"Where?!"

So, I recently hit myself over the head because my Highland friends I met this semester are actually pretty funny and I never thought anything of it to write some quotes down. Today I did. But I only got 2 cuz a whole bunch of others flew by too fast for me to realize what was going on.

Quote 1:
Me: Jody, your hair just attacked me.
Heather: I'm sorry. Wait ... why did I answer?
Me: Yeah... I wasn't talking to you.
Heather: Yeah.. my bad.

Quote 2:
Heather: So I was in a car one time and this dude driving hit the gas in order to pass a yellow light that was about to turn red. I'm not sure how you can tell with a yellow light is just about to turn red but yeah, would you hurry? There's a train kinda coming.
Me, Jody, Marianne: Oh shit.

^^^ that one right there ^^^ is my favorite. Jody was driving all four of us (including herself) to Hiawatha to get some taco stuff for Taco Tuesday and the car in front of us stopped and when we stopped, we ended up on a train track and a train was like a fourth of a mile away. And those suckers move pretty fast. It was scary. But the funny part was that Heather was so calm about it.

Quote 3 (Heather starts off by reading a clue from the game Dirty Minds):
Heather: I keep falling out. I get off after I stuff my chute. Join me in a jump anytime.
Me, Marianne: Dunno, what is it?
Heather: Sky diver.
Jody: Where?!

^^ that was pretty good too and made joke of the night ^^ She was watchin tv or reading her Dirty Minds clue book and was completely oblivious to what we were doing. She thought there was a real sky diver.

That's all the quotes I got. But since I have the Dirty Minds books out (in order to look up sky diver) I'll post a couple other fun ones.

Miss America
> I licked all the other girls.
> I'm a queen.
> I do it in high heels.

Lollypop
> You love to lick me.
> After your mouth works on me, I get sticky.
> The climax comes when you chew on my stick.

Chin
> When I get old, I sag.
> There can be two of me under your tongue.
> Sometimes, it's hard to keep me up.


Hehe. Share those with your friends.

Have a good week. I won't be back for a while I bet. Those of you celebrating easter, have fun with that.

It's just a sandwich, dude

True story:

My dad and I went to subway today. I wanted a sandwich for my ride back to Highland.
I walked into subway, and this is what I heard:

Customer: I said I DIDN'T want olives.
Worker 1: I heard you say you did.
Customer: No, I SAID no olives.
Worker 2: I heard you in the back, sir. You said you wanted olives.
Customer: Are you arguing with me?
Worker 2: No, sir. I'm just telling you what you said.
Customer: I know what I said. I will walk right out and not pay.

That was pretty much it. Subway wanted the money so they shut up.
But it was the dude who should've shut up, not Subway. He could've ended it by being more sincere.

I couldn't help but laugh. Hehe.

KS girls stick together

Apparently this is true.

The other night, Wednesday I think it was, three of my Highland buddies and I went to St. Joe, Missouri just for something to do. We went to the mall, yadda yadda yah... For dinner, we went to BK, cuz by the time we'd get back the caf would be closed, and when we were waiting in line, us four Highlanders were lined up against the rail and a fireman looked at us laughing.

Fireman (laughing): What is it with you girls?
Me: What?
Fireman: Ya'll are wearing different Kansas high school hoodies and hanging around in Missouri.
*we all looked at our hoodies and laughed*
Fireman 2: Missouri has four Kansas girls; one from Troy, one from Atchinson, one from Frankfort, and one from Manhattan.
Marianne: We're all in the same college.
Me: Yeah, not far from here in Kansas.
Fireman: Ah, well, Kansas girls must stick together then.

Yeah. It was a you had to be there moment but it was also rather awkward.

That's all I have for this post.

I might post again today. We shall see.

3.9.09

I know I haven't posted in like forever but with this Hicktown I'm in, it's hard to find anything fun AND non-offensive at the same time. But I do have a few from my birthday party like... two weeks ago. Not many and I was trying to find more before I made a post but that's not gonna happen for a bit so I decided to post now.

Quote 1:
Chase: I'm not feeling the dangly things.

So, at my birthday party, I had Chase, Hazel, and Lukus (and some family but they werent funny). Throughout the night, Chase wore Hazel's fedora, you know - those fun..hats.. google them if you dont know what they are. But anyway, Hazel likes attaching things to her fedora and she had a dangling earring on it. Hence the quote.

Quote 2:
Chase: You should get some of your candy.
Me: What? *looking around* Oh
Chase: The tastey bottom things!

So, also at my birthday party, Chase, Hazel, Lukus, and I went to Hastings to see if we could find a movie to rent or a game to buy. We found the game "Dirty Minds" which is an awesome game, by the way. But anyway, we were checking out and there's this foreign candy that makes you like .. uber hyper or gives you the feeling you're high and thats what he was talking about. Not like... actual butts. Then I'd start to wonder about him ....

Moving on.

Quote 3:
Donna: If there are cats in the house, there can't be chickens.

I finally figured out what that was suppose to mean. (Chase told me to write it down btw.) But her son, Brian (my future brother .. joy) was thinking of giving his sister, Blair, a bunch of chickens for a wedding gift just to prank her, ya know. Well, Blair and the other sister, Bilan, have 2 cats at their house (they live together with their boyfriends) and apparently you can't have chickens if you have cats.

So as I was typing this, I discovered some yet-to-be-shared quotes in my notebook. Without further adieu...

Undiscovered quotes from Mr. Boschee (pronounced bo-shay)
"Kindergarten should just be pronounced Kiddie Garden."
~so true.
"We have the technology to enhance our entertainment. For instance, if we wanted to, we could make football on tv in 3d. Nothing like having a football and a defensive lineman come after you, eh?"
~lol I thought this was funny.
"Use a stick to make a hole, plant the seeds, and move on."
~talking about gardening .. this actually came after the "Kiddie Garden" one.
"The only thing us as Americans are good for is working technology."
~also true.

A quote from Mrs. Hines (really old teacher that needs to retire)
"Are you saying that technology considers me a parasite?? How can I be an unknown host? Other people can e-mail me just fine. I must just be a parasite to you."
~ uh... apparently her e-mail, for some, is considered an 'unknown host' .. yeah idk

Last but not lease, a quote from the one, the only, Mr. Brainerd (best teacher yet)
"If you ask me, the 5 o'clock news is nothing but me being scared shitless for 10 minutes."
~apparently the 5 o'clock news is nothing but violence for 10 minutes.

Yeah. Good times.

Now, for an inspirational quote.

If you don't know where you are, you can't get where you're going.

True true. Give that a good thinking about.

And with that, I end this post.

Have a good week !

Bored college kids on facebook

So, there's four of us involved in this long convo. Like four college kids have nothing better to do.

It took place on a facebook status of one of us. Well, technically on two. Here's the first status argument/convo/whatever:

Ashley lets go Jayhawks!
-Chase: Booooooooo!
-Matt: What Chase said.
-Me: What they said. How dare you go to K-state and root for the Jayhawks.
-Chase: Ha ha, she actually called me to tell me to not boo her team...
-Me: Lame
-Chase: And she called me a weirdo...
-Me: But you are weird.

Yeah, that one started the convo on this one:

Ashley does not like the argument on her facebook status...
-Chase: You started it.
-Ashley: did not!!
-Me: Actually we started it.
-Chase: Well, Ashley provided incentive...
-Me: Yeah but we kept going.
-Chase: Pttht.
-Matt: Ummm, you proclaimed your fanhood for KU. You totally deserve it.
-Ashley: A) Megan even tho u dont like ku i appreciate you seeing the truth B) Chase, kiss my ass...C) Matt im going to kill u when we hang out tomorrow if u not nice.
-Me: Ha. I got the best er... comment.
-Chase: I hope your birds lose....
-Me: My dogs beat all of ya'll
-Ashley: im lost now
-Chase: Wildcats. They can eat birds AND dogs...
-Matt: Well you better have a great reason as to how you can possibly support the University of Kansas. Because quite frankly, I am apalled.
-Ashley: matthew...i thought we were better friends then this..I never thought you'd bash me
-Matt: I never thought you'd be a KU fan.
-Me: Should've went to KU, ashley...
-Ashley: I dont like Lawrence people
-Chase: It's like some sort of sad movie. Two friends, torn apart by their support for rivaling teams... Will it all work out in the end? Will they see past their differences?
-Me: Chase ... this is why we call you weird.
-Chase: Ah, memories...
-Ashley: chase...you've known me since 2nd grade...I was in love with u and chased you...if you "break up" with me over a sport issue i will be very upset
-Matt: So the whole KU fan thing............WHY DAMMIT?
-Ashley: matt...im sorry...im a good friend and u love me and thats what matters :)
-Chase: Boo KU...
-Ashley: oh whatever lol
-Matt: As much as I do love you, I will get to the bottom of this.
-Ashley: haha..so are we going job searching tomorrow at like 3?
-Chase: And what's up with Rock Chalk Jayhawk? Lame.
-Ashley: whats up with running your jeep into a tree....Lame
-Chase: I drove my Dodge Stratus into a tree. The Jeep is what I got as a replacement. Not lame!!
-Ashley: o that suddenly makes the situation better lol...not
-Matt: Somewhere around there. I'm pretty much down with applying wherever. I hate my job.
-Chase: It made my vehicle situation better, that's for sure... What are you driving around these days, hm? I'm sorry, what's that? Nothing?
-Matt: Well if no one else is gonna say it.............this is absolutely ridiculous.
-Ashley: Matt...just text me when ur ready...chase...its not my fault my parents wont just get me a new car because i crashed my other one
-Chase: I think, Matt, you mean this is AWESOMELY ridiculous...
-Ashley: uh huh...where'd megan go?
-Matt: Oh well of course hahaha. This is one of the single most epic things I've been involved with in a while.
-Me: sittin over here laughin at you 3 lol
-Chase: Megan, this should go in your Quotes blog...
-Me: oh it is, trust me
-Matt: "Ashley does not like the argument on her facebook status..." I believe this is what people refer to as "irony"
-Chase: WIN
-Ashley: wow we need lives...you know that?
-Me: no we dont, this is college, we have no lives
-Chase: Maybe this IS our lives. Livin' the good life... Yep...
-Chase: You have SO MANY comments on your status. Isn't that great!?
-Matt: I am perfectly content with this kind of lifestyle.
-Me: Yep. Me too
-Ashley: 46..now 47
-Matt: 48
-Me: 49
-Me: we need to come to a stopping point hopefully soon. because if i'm putting this in my blog, its gonna take forever to type. plus, if we reach 100, all our comments at the beginning get deleted cuz 100 is the absoulte max. trust me. i been there.
-Matt: People are so judging us right now. I love it.
-Ashley: ok so lets each say one more thing and call it a night
-Me: GOOD NIGHT!
-Chase: 50?
-Chase: Dang, I missed it...
-Matt: Let's seee............I hope we find a good job............I thoroughly enjoyed tihs conversation..............and KU blows.
-Ashley: My recap: I wish Chase and Matt were nicer to me...Megan's awesome and I miss having class with her...and I had a great time talking with you guys...lol


Haha. That's pretty much it of that one. Theres a couple comments at the end that werent relevant to the funny.

Now that my fingers hurt, I'm gonna hit the sack!

GOOD NIGHT!

2.16.09

I know its been like almost a month, slap me for it. I been trying to get a good collection of fun quotes before I posted but I gave up so I'm going to post what I got.

The message I recieved in a fortune cookie: In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

True story.

Chase: shut up, its 1991

I was making fun of him for something but now I dont remember. Either way, its 2009, Chase, not 1991.

Me: Hey this is Sugarland.
Chase: You're salty.
Me: That's what she said.

I remember this one. We were in the theater having a double-movie friday. Sugarland the band came over the speakers and yeah. I'm not sure why he said "you're salty" but it was awkwardly funny.

Me: I like them small and simple than big and huge.

This one, haha, I was comparing the Kansas State Student Union to Scottie Pause which is Highland's student union. Scottie Pause is way smaller than the KSSU which, obviously, is fine by me.

Chase: my shirt is soft.
Me: *pet*
Chase: don't pet me.
Me: if you tell me something is soft, I will touch it.

His shirt was soft, what can I say. It was pink too. With a wolf on it.

Me: i'm sure you would notice if someone was touching your butt.
Chase: not if they were really tricky.

He likes to keep his wallet in his front pocket while I like to keep mine in the butt pocket. He says its a security type thing to keep it in the front pocket. I, however, disagree.

Yep, that's all I got for now.

I have sociology tomorrow, FINALLY, so hopefully I can get some more.

1.27.09

Yep, it's Tuesday, which means I had my sociology class today with the funny Mr. Brainerd, a new source for my quotes since I'm hours away from my other sources.

But not the point.

As I was looking through my notebook before class today, I saw a quote that I completely forgot about last week. Mr. Brainerd was talking about religion and how many people thought our sociological views reflected on our religion. But he said, "Is anyone offended by what I'm saying about religion? I dont care if you are but I'm just checking." ... Nice, Mr. B.

Then we started talking about child abuse and child pornography which brought up the Casey Anthony case. Everyone in the U.S. knows about Casey Anthony and how she was killed in Florida supposedly by her own mother. Here's Mr. B's thoughts, "That bitch just needs to shut up. We need to stop talking to her, stop asking her questions. Pardon my language but someone needs to bitch slap her into last week." ... Haha. That's my second favorite for the day.

My favorite, this one's good, was when Mr. B was talking about every day people who abuse their kids in public by hitting them or cussing at them. He was talking about this one guy at Wal-Mart who called his kid a worthless asshole because the poor kid picked up the wrong can of something. Then he goes on to say, "If this dude wasn't a giant Paul Bunyan, I would've taken him down, one testicle at a time." ... Loved that one. I dont think the class could stop laughing.

For those of you who don't know Paul Bunyan, here's a picture:



And yes, Mr. B was talking about the Paul Bunyan statue. You can see the nice little man compared to Paul Bunyan.

What a good day.

I'll leave you with one last thought.

Why do people purposely leave the stickers and price tags on caps?

G'day!

And no, I'm not Australian.

1.23.09

Happy Friday!

That's my saying for the day cuz you know... it's Friday... *cricket*

Moving on.

Yesterday in my sociology class with Mr. Brainerd, we talked about the differences in men and women. One thing we talked about was who was stressed the most. Mr. Brainer says men are more stressed because, and I quote, "We have to pretend to be macho shit heads all the time." Haha. Sorry, guys. If you don't agree, might I add we were talking about the stereotypical view of men and women. Men are suppose to be tough and women are suppose to be the weak ones. Hm. Yeah well..

So I found a quote from about 5 days ago that I had put into my phone when Chase and I hung out when I was back in town. We went to Mr. Goodcents (for those of you that don't have one, it's like a Subway) and he got a sandwich to go after having a sandwich to eat at the place. Well, we went to walk around Aggieville (party central) and at some point we went to the book store. I think he bought some poster-ish type thing. It's pretty cool. But anyway, he was trying to put his other half a sandwich that he had been carrying around with him for a while in the bag but he couldn't get the bag open. So he says, "It won't go in!" And of course, I came right back with "That's what she said!" It made it funnier because he didn't realize he said it. Well, he realized what he said, but didn't take in the fact it could be turned dirty. Haha. Pay attention, Chase.

That's all the funnies I have right now. But I found something else in my phone.

Kickapoonation.

It's the name of a little toddler type school out in the middle of no where. I thought it was a fun name.

I'm out for the weekend.

Be safe and have a wonderful weekend!

1.20.09

First off, I think a congratulations is in order for our new President, Barack Obama. I did get a chance to watch the inauguration this morning and, now that I had the joy of voting, it actually was interesting. I wanted to watch his speech if nothing else and gladly, I did. I saw a bunch of people sliding on the frozen pool by the Washington Memorial and I said to one of my friends, "Ya know, I bet it would be rather embarassing to fall on my ass on national television." True story. After I said that, someone DID fall and I found quite hilarious. Haha.

Ok, enough of that.

So today, I had 3 classes (Tuesdays/Thursdays) and I love my teachers those days. My first class was Sociology (I know, gross ... blah blah blah) BUT my teacher, Mr. Brainerd, is awesome. He was talking about having nice houses, the prettiest women, the best food, and after a dramatic pause, he goes, "I bet you all think I'm some big piece of white trash." Not at all, Mr. B .... :D

So then I had lunch in the Caff, watched the inauguration, yadda yadda yah. Then I had Philosophy (I know, gross again ...) and my teacher there, Mrs. Hines, its pretty... awkward. She's like literally on the brink of 80 years old but she's doing damn good for herself. But anyway, today we talked about moral theories and all that jazz. She was reading from our book (which is scary to look at btw) and she says, "Let's leak on down to the bottom here..." Yeah. Leak. Way to go, Mrs. H. Sadly, she didnt realize she said "leak" instead of "look" and kept going. Reading that is. Not leaking. Perverts. LOL. Just kidding. So she keeps on reading and finally says something like this, "Is anyone in here normal? I know I'M normal but are you?" *insert dramatic pause* "I'm only kidding. Nobody is normal. It's like being perfect. Not gonna happen." It's not really funny but it's a true quote. After like ten minutes or so had passed, we talked about girls and sports. So she says (screams, more or less), "Girls majoring in Physical Education or Physical Therapy, or ANY girl who plays a sport is a lesbo, a dike, a homo, a butch. Whatever you call them." This kinda hurt; dike is a mean word, guys. I'm bi so I've been down the road of being called a dike. It's not fun. Dont say it. It's like saying something is "gay" is something to you is stupid. Dont do it. But it was funny for my friend who just happens to be majoring in Physical Therapy. Haha. This next quote I wrote down, I dont remember what we were talking about (knowing my teacher, she tends to babble half the time) but she says, "If you're sane, you'll go with the flow and NOT do anything drastic." Ha. Yeah. That's a "That's what she said" moment. So, I'm not sure why we were talking about the holocaust, but everytime Mrs. H attempted to say holocaust, it came out like "hollow-cause". I know she's old, but thats what makes it more funny to me. One last thing. She was talking about her niece's son, and I guess he's mentally challenged (sorry if that's the wrong term) but she goes on to talk about how his mother always beat him, slapped him, burned him, all that stuff. And I dont stand for child abuse so I stopped listening. But what she said afterwards caught my attention. She said, "He only has handicaps because his mother is an IDIOT!" She practically screamed that one too. Can't wait to see what she has in store Thursday.

Sorry this isnt in my usual format. I didnt feel like it today. LOL.

Have a happy January 20, 2009!

Band Names!

Hey, everyone! I'm that "New Poster" that Megan mentioned. We were talking about this blog today, and I told her I didn't have any really funny quotes lately (now that she's moved to Highland for college, there are a lack of funny conversations). But she told me I should post the band names list. One thing I've been doing for a while now is compiling random words that I think would make awesome band names, should I ever be in a band. Not all are that great, but I definitely have my favorite picked out. But enough about nothing, on to the band names!

- Suicidal Ricewads = I can't really recall what this was about, but it's the name that started the list. I believe it was at HuHot, or perhaps just eating Chinese food at the mall... But one of us had a small ball, or "wad", of rice fall off our plate. As if it was suicidal... Mm, not one of our better names...
- Knock On Wood - Yeah, this one... is random...
- History With a Vampire - This one's taken from Megan's story. One of her werewolf characters is complaining about having a class with the enemy, a vampire...
- Bright Light Stalker - I forget this one... I think it's from another part of Megan's story, right?
- Vampire Wars of the South - This I got from one of the Twilight Saga books, when Jasper was talking about the fighting in the South...
- Wolfsbane Grenade - This one is my favorite one, which I want to use if I ever start a band (which I probably won't). This one's pulled from my story, about werewolves and space.
- Transmogrification - I was reading Calvin & Hobbes and, well... It's a fun word.
- Dirty Rock Band - I don't remember this one, but I think we were talking about playing Rock Band, or something...
- Slap Chop - You know, it's just fun to say. Like ShamWOW!
- +1 Point - Megan and I were doing some weird point system for a while, where you got or lost points based on various things...
- Dip Stix - Megan suggested this one, randomly.
- Phantom Vibrate - Like when your phone isn't in your pocket, but you feel a text message or phone call.
- Frozen Fone - I... forget...
- Velcrow Byrd - Also, forget the origin...
- I Smell Poop - True story.
- Smells Like Poop - Variation of the previous. Actually, one would work good as a band name, and the other could be the debut album title.
- Bookcakes - A picture is worth a thousand words.

- Dizzy Widgets - A fun combo of words that we came up with after talking about computer widgets...
- Has Ruffles - This one doesn't sound as appealing as it did earlier, but it's based on a dress Megan doesn't like...

New Poster

Alright everyone, there is no longer just one fun poster, but there are two!
It's pretty cool when you can add more than one author to a blog. Double the funnies!
Just a head's up that it won't always be me now.
My friend, Chase, whom I always talk about in my quotes is now a quoter! Yeah, he's got some good stuff that's just waiting to be posted so ya'll will have to check back sooner than usual!

I dont have any quotes from normal day activities so I googled some fun bumper stickers that I'll share just so this post has something fun to read.

1.20.2009 = end of an error
I'm only speeding because I really have to poop
Ass, Gas, or Grass = nobody rides for free
If you're gonna ride my ass, at least you can pull my hair
I might be slow but I'm ahead of you!
If you can read this, BACK OFF.
Fasten your seat belt or aliens could suck you out of the car and give you an anal probe
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park yourself elsewhere.
CAUTION: driver has itchy break foot.
Keep the Earth clean! It's not Uranus!

haha.

Good night!

Facebook Status Convo.

So, I dont have any awesome quotes, but this convo my friends and I had while commenting on another friend's status.... its pretty awesome.

Angie's status: Angie is sneezy, coughy, sleepy and icky.
Gill: here have some rum
Me: no whiskey is better
Tim: aww :(
Sally: honey, you need a long stiff one...or maybe some sausage!
Me: noooooo.. that would just make her throat sore.. heavy breathing ya know.
Sally: but the juices from the sausage will soothe her throat...so it's all good!
Me: not if its hot!!
Angie: lmao id give it a try! *wink wink*
Me: oh geez, forget that.
Angie: rofl
Me: i'm not a fan of red meat anyway. tacos are way better.
Angie: hmm personally, I like them both :D
Me: depends on how the sausage is made... and how hungry i am...
Tim: such an easily misinterpreted conversation >.<
Me: i think that was the point.
Angie: as usual...he acts innocent.
Tim: i am innocent :P you just umm... corrupted me... yeah thats it ;)
Angie: I know better than that lol
Tim: lol... darn i was hoping you wouldnt notice so everyone else would believe it
Angie: yes.. sally you were right, it did help.... LOTS
Me: awkward
Angie: lmfao nothing awkward about some brandy! take yer mind outta the gutter missy!
Tim: huh... what did i miss?
Me: i'm like dead tired, practically anything i read right now is twisted so .. *sticks tongue out* whatever you had to make you feel better.. hand it over
Angie: lol umm NO, i love you but NO :P
Me: FINE. I made myself feel better ANYWAY. No thanks to you. Butthead
Angie: You made yourself huh? interesting...
Me: oh shut up
Gill: mahna mahna
Me: do doo do do do
Angie: i'm hungry btw
Me: eat a taco
Gill: that site megs lookin at might satisfy your hunger
Me: i bet it would. you could take a big chomp of one of the boob cakes
Tim: lol...

haha... all that under 1 status... love it. I always gotta read it over and over.
But the site I was looking at at the time of when gill spoke up about was this one here >> http://www.snurfy.com/daily-mixed-picdump-57/
Its actually pretty funny... look at it sometime... second picture down is the boob cakes. LOL.

Have a good weekend!!

1.12.09

Alrighty. I know its been a long time since i posted some funnies but I was working on getting like at least 5 before making a special post for them. Sooo.. enough of me talking and let's get down to business.

Quote:
Chase: It won't stay in!
Me: That's what she said.

Situation:
Chase was hanging with me when I went to get my meningitis shot and he was messing with this magazine insert that was suppose to be stuck inside the magazine but it kept falling out and he kept getting pissed... haha.

Quote:
Chase: I can't do that in my car. Jerking it makes it worse.

Situation:
On our way to the park from the DMV, my seatbelt got locked and if you jerk on it, it will unlock but apparently not in Chase's car.

So this next one, it's a funny one. I was flipping through channels one night and I picked up a couple words from each channel and this is what I heard...
"Gina gucci bag roundhouse kicked your credit card and loved it."
haha. Love it... I tend to do this more often now..

Sunday, my dad and his fiancee and I were going to Burger King to grab something to eat before taking a road trip. We got to Burger King and he says, "I suppose you want a whopper, Megan?"
Hmph. I did want a whopper but not after he made it all dirty and perverted...

Alright, so on a BK bilboard thing, it said, "Feel the heat. Try an angry whopper."
Now, after what my dad said, I just thought this was hilarious.

Quote:
Me: There's an M on my bottle.
Dad: There's a what on your butthole?
Donna: Butthole?
Me: I said BOTTLE!!
Dad: Oh, I was gonna say you're pretty flexible if you can see back there. I'm awesome and I can't even see back that far.

Situation:
No need to explain.

So that's all I have for now.

Check back laterz!