Yellow Submarine

Quotes from the very trippy movie, Yellow Submarine, featuring The Beatles.

Old Fred: Oh! Frankenstein!
Ringo: Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
Old Fred: His sister?
Ringo: Yeah, Phyllis.

Old Fred: Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!
Ringo: Which button?
Old Fred: That button.
Ringo: This button?
[presses the button and is ejected]
Ringo: Aaaahhhhh!
Old Fred: That was the panic button.

Paul: Look, it's a school of whales.
Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.
Paul: University then.
Ringo: University of "Wales".
John: They look like drop-outs to me.

John: Break the glass.
George: We can't!
Paul: It's Beatle-proof.
John: Nothing is Beatle-proof!

Old Fred: Help! Help! Help!
Ringo: No thanks, don't need any.
Old Fred: Won't you please, please help me!

Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.
Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now.
Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born "Liver-pooler."

[after Ringo ejects himself from the submarine]
Paul: Poor Ringo.
George: Poor lad.
Paul: Never did no harm to no one.
John: Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?
Old Fred: Learn to sing trios.
Paul: Naw, let's save the poor devil.

Ringo: Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?
Police Officer: No, no, I would not.
Ringo: Oh, yeah, didn't think you would. I could've sworn I saw a yellow submarine. But that's not logic now. Is it? It must've been one of them "Unidentified Flying Cupcakes". Or a figment of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.

George: Hey! There's a Cyclops!
Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes.
John: Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.
Ringo: There's another one.
John: A whole "'cyclopedia"!

Ringo: Oh, your story has touched me heart. Jump in. We'll get me friends.
Old Fred: Oh, bless you.
Ringo: Did I sneeze?

:D

Sex and Buying A New Car

Yeah.

Today, Donna threw my dad a suprise birthday party and when all his friends and he get together, it's laugh after laugh but usually on the R rated side. Mark and Blair are soon to be married and my dad, his friends Larry and Gary like to give Mark advice on how to be a good husband. You know, the "Just sit down, shut up, and nod like you're listening" speech. Well, today, sex came up and one after the other, they came up with ways on how sex is like buying a new car. Such as these examples:

1. You should test drive everything before you buy it.
2. Make sure you can reach the controls.
3. Make sure it's the right fit for you.
4. Butt warmers are a plus.
5. Make sure it runs smoothly.
6. You don't want it to quit on you within the first few drives.
7. No bumpy rides.

I'm sure there were more but I can't remember and if I started writing things down randomly in the middle of things, I'd have to explain everything and it would be a big mess.

So, that's that and er.. Good night.

Surprise! An Update!

Since Megan hasn't updated in a while, I'll take the wheel for a bit with some of the random quotes I've accumulated...

"If I had a compass, I could be a pirate!" - said by our friend Sarah, while she and I were hanging out together at the mall and looking at pirate stuff in the bookstore. She's working on a cool costume, apparently.

"Dude, you want some aloe vera for that burn?" - I heard it off of The Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, used in the sense that someone just got insulted, or "burned" as is the lingo. It's become a favorite of mine.

The following quotes were found on an interesting website, profquotes.com, which I hope to utilize this fall semester. Basically compiled of quotes that students get from their professors, similar to this blog, in a sense:
- "You are here to get an understanding, not good grades."
- (When asking how long our papers should be, our professor replied,) "Just like a girl's skirt - long enough to cover everything essential, short enough to keep it interesting."
- "There are three sexes: the male sex, the female sex, and the insects."
- "Put some jam in your pockets, 'cause we're all toast."
- "If I explain this or not, it doesn't matter. I'm wasting my time and you're wasting yours. I get paid for it and you don't..."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." - said by my roommate, Max, when we were chatting on Facebook. Apparently he has neon orange walls in his bedroom at home.

"...nothing teaches us more about who we are than seeing ourselves in the people we least expect." - a quote from one of my favorite tv shows, Greek.

Squeee.

Been like ages since I updated this. And it's summer! I should be hanging with my friends and collecting a shit ton of quotes. But I'm not. I dont know why. I'm kicking myself right now. But I do got a few quotes, only a few.

The first one is when Hazel and I were hanging at Chase's house and he was showing us his new old cookbooks.

Chase: On page 98, there's a cake recipe with my grandma in it!

Needless to say, we all laughed, even though we knew he meant that his grandma helped with it but it was just funny.

My last two are from Hazel. I was hanging out at her house tonight, helping her clean her room when she proceeded to trip and said:

"The gravity decided to say NO!"

Funny in the context and also funny that if you fall, gravity says yes. So we laughed... hard... when she said:

"I wonder why when people laugh hard, they want to fall to the ground. It's like ha ha HA HA, hi, floor!"

And she, of course, proceeded to demonstrate and then finished off with this:

"It's like, 'Hi, floor! Bring me a sandwich!'"

I'm not so sure where that last part came from but she said it and it was funnyyyyyyyy.

Facebook Convos.

So, last Thursday, a couple of my Highland friends (whom I will miss this summer) and I hung out. ALL DAY. The three of us walked around the little tiny town of Highland and eventually made it back to one of the classroom buildings where we proceeded to get on the computer (at the same time, next to each other) and we changed our facebook statuses. Then we commented on each other's while we were still sitting next to each other. I thought they were funny so I'm totally gonna put them here.

Mine first:

Megan is hanging with rebecca and krystal: we'll be the old people in the nursing home playing bumper cars with our hoverounds. Be jealous, bastards.

Rebecca: damn straight we will be..oh we need canes to so we can destruct things!!!!!
Megan: lol! those too! and DEPENDS!
Rebecca: fuck the depends i dont want them!! by then they will have invented something better then depends
Krystal: LOL Megan you no what you fucking stole my status that is what i was going to put on my FUCK YOU But Yes I agree
Rebecca: ooooooooooo......nd duck tape to tie everyone else up with!!
Megan: AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING. you only wish, krystal. we need to take pictures together cuz i need a new facebook pic.
Megan: lol rebecca.
Krystal: LOL good idea
Rebecca: krystal u cant spell its "mine" not "my" status
Megan: LOL somebody get a camera
Rebecca: its in my car..which is by ellis i guess we could go make some more noise and go get it..i dont think the chick next to us would like it!
Megan: yeah, she's getting pissed off a bit. but we need a camera!
Krystal: LOL yup
Megan: LETS GO
Rebecca: ok when we going and where with who for how many cookies and uhh should we go mudding? hahaha
Megan: now, somewhere, 10 bagillion cookies, yes
Rebecca: i like the cookie idea! hehe cant go wrong with mudding where we goin to find the truck?
Megan: erm. BRIAN HAS A TRUCK
Krystal: Hey sounds like a good Idea lets take the bitches truck mudding LOL
Megan: lol
Rebecca: i like that idea lets Take BRIANS truck..the little shit would never notice!! hed be to busy with "other things" ;)
Megan: yup yup.
Krystal: yup with bpa
Megan: not necessarily.

And now Becka's.

Rebecca is in highland..hanging out with megan and krystal..doing random things beind loud and having fun! oh and running away from tiny evil yapping dogs!! haha oh yeah megan you cant read!!! haha ya be jealous!!

Megan: BUT I CAN DO MATH! !@#$%%^#*@^%$
Rebecca: you cant do math if you cant read!!!
Megan: 2 + 2 = 4!@!!@$%&^#*^&^%#
Rebecca: that was so simple a retarded person could do that
Krystal: Wow you guys LOL :D
Megan: :'( < thats a fuckin tear right there, JERKS.
Krystal: LOL well megan I mean shit I am sorry You cant do either You cant read and you cant do math I sucks doesnt it :D
Rebecca: oh geeze megan you know i love ya..its ok that u fell off the special bus atleast u didnt hit ur head like krystal did when she fell!!
Megan: I hate you, tramp. FUCK YOU GUYS, I'M GOIN HOME
Rebecca: krystal u cant spell for nothing!
Megan: WHY ISNT ANYBODY COMMENTING ON MY STATUS
Krystal: LOL well you no what I am atleast Better then MEGAN!!! and Can READ AND DO MATH Fuck the Both You LOL
Megan: YOU WISH
Rebecca: no thanks krystal ur not my type..im getting to ur status megan hold ur horse gee wiz
Megan: lol
Krystal: LOL girls it waasnt an offer
Rebecca: good cuz i dont want it! i already got somebody!! :P
Krystal: LOL i no and I love him he is a good guy for you But hey I love how this went from yelling and screaming to Very Quite LOL and calm Commenting :P
Megan: lolz.
Rebecca: FUCK THAT SHIT IN THE ASS WITH A RAZOR!!! IT CAN NOT GO QUIET!!! I REFUSE BITCH!! and yes he is a good guy :)
Megan: LOL razors hurt asses.
Rebecca: oh do you know this from experience?
Megan: maybe.
Rebecca: oh sucks for you :( i guess u learnt ur lesson though
Megan: yeah btw, all these convos are goin in my blog fo sho.
Rebecca: lol sweetness...maybe we could get the freshmen next year to fall for it!! that would be HILARIOUS!!
Megan: LOL
Rebecca: haha mine left u all speech less!! bahahahaha such badassness!!
Megan: lollllllllll

:D
Last but not least, Krystal's.

Krystal Hanging out with Rebecca and Megan, running around screaming and yelling random things Fuck the 23 hour quite period I will yell outside so be fucking Jealous!!!!!

Rebecca: Amen sista!! brown chicken brown cow!! FUCK being quite I REFUSE to be...so YEEEPPIII summer is almost here but im going to miss you and megan but next semester woohoo people better watch out cuzz we'll be back and twice as bad!!
Megan: FUCK YEAH! cuz we be roommates, scarin the freshmens
Krystal: LOL Hell yes it will be amazing Sophomore Year here we come LOL the fucking Freshmen Better Be scared!!!! :P
Megan: lolz.
Rebecca: oh yes they better be trembling in their shoes!!!! cuz we some BADASS sophmores!!! highland hasnt seen any like us before!!!
Megan: LOL
Rebecca: the poor little freshman doesnt know whats goin to hit them
Megan: lol KRYSTAL YOUR STATUS CONVO SUCKS, BUDDY
Rebecca: yes it does you ARE NOT REPLYING AT ALL WHORE!!
Megan: TRAMP i fuckin cant keep up with you guys
Rebecca: wow u slow come on megan step up the pace geeze!
Krystal: Lol you cant keep up man I am way behind But I am having fun reading this LOL
Megan: SHUT IT whore
Rebecca: are you talkin to me megan?
Megan: yes.
Krystal: You whores need to shut up:P
Megan: fuck you
Rebecca: I thought so thanks for the compliment...so we are goin to show up in proper attire tomorrow for bpa final right???
Megan: HA we'll go muddin tomorrow at 7.45 am. then go to bpa
Krystal: Ya if you call a mini skirt and fish nets business attire then ya
Rebecca: that's exactly what i was talking about gotta have the stilletos though
Krystal: megan lets go muddin instead of going to bpa we can hot wire brians truck and go LOL
Rebecca: I LOVE YOUR IDEA KRYSTAL!!! FUCK BPA!!!
Megan: lol
Krystal: LOL i love it to and Yes becca the stilletos will do just fine as well
Megan: lol i have learned to stop trying to comment.
Rebecca: mini skirt skimp shirt fish netting and stilletos!!
Krystal: hell yeah i think that is totally business attire
Rebecca: completely and utterly they didnt say what kind of business attire it is the proper attire for our business!
Krystal: LOL that is all i can say :p
Megan: LOL i actually understood what rebecca said
Rebecca: hahaha omg megan...im glad u could understand that :P
Krystal: didnt say i understood her I DID DAMN IT MEGAN

Haha. Enjoy :D

Night At The Museum

I'm going to continue with movie quotes just to keep this blog alive until I get home for the summer next Wednesday.

Today's movie: Night at the Museum

Jedediah: No problemo, Gigantor.
Larry: Um, my names Larry, first of all okay, Jed? See I call you Jed, I don't call you tiny.
Jedediah: What's that supposed to mean?
Larry: Hey teeny, how does that sound?
Jedediah: I... I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
Larry: Okay, well Gigantor makes me sound like a freak.
Octavius: I don't. I just call you Larry.
Larry: Don't be a kiss-ass.

Teddy Roosevelt: [after seeing Larry slapping Dexter] Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?

[about Sacajawea]
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...

Larry: [looks up at Dexter] Hey, Dex, so, look. No hard feelings, all right?
Teddy Roosevelt: [Dexter slaps Larry in the forehead and Larry raises his clipboard to hit him] Lawrence!
Larry: You saw - you saw what he did just then...
Teddy Roosevelt: [interupting him] Who's evolved?
Larry: I am.
Teddy Roosevelt: Who's evolved?
Larry: I am!

:D

Resident Evil

Yeah, so I havent posted in ages. But I came up with a fun idea.

I'm currently watching the Resident Evil series (minus Degeneration) and I thought I would post my favorite quotes because some of them make me laugh.

So, here we go.Starting with the first Resident Evil

[Alice points her gun at Rain]
Rain: I'm not dead yet.
[Rain takes the gun from Alice]
Rain: I think I'll take this back.
Alice: I could kiss you, you bitch!

[Matt and Spence are helping Rain]
Rain: When I get outta here... think I'm gonna get laid.
Matt: Yeah, you might want to clean up a little bit first.

Matt: [held down] You can't do this!
Rain: [removing gas mask] Blow me.

Oh, how I love Rain.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

L.J.: GTA, Motherfucker! Oh, yeah! Ten points.

Nicholai Sokolov: [wrestling with a dog infected with the T-Virus] I've got this bitch!
[sees another dog coming to assist its friend]
Nicholai Sokolov: Oh, shit.

Alice: There's something down there.
Jill Valentine: Where?
Alice: There.
Peyton Wells: I don't see anything.
Alice: Well, that doesn't alter the fact that there *is* something down there.

L.J.: You motherfuckers is crazy! Look. That big motherfucker got a rocket launcher!

[L.J. walks into a building and is surrounded by 12 S.T.A.R.S. members]
L.J.: Shit! Maybe I was safer outside. Get them guns out of my damn face.
[a S.T.A.R.S. officer hands him a shotgun]
L.J.: Motherfucker, please. Look.
[opens up his jacket revealing two gold guns]
L.J.: My shit is custom.

Alice: How long ago have you been bitten?
Carlos Olivera: Three hours.
L.J.: What?
Alice: Today's your lucky day.
L.J.: [to Carlos] You should have told me you were bit, motherfucker, I'm hanging with you and shit!

Resident Evil: Extinction

L.J.: [he and Carlos have entered an abandoned motel] I'm gonna get me a room. I'll take a waterbed, a jacuzzi, and I'm gonna rent me a porno.

Betty: [nursing L.J.'s wounds] You like playing rough, huh?
L.J.: Oh, I've had worse.
Betty: I'm sure.
L.J.: But you've always been gentle with me, Betty.
Carlos Olivera: Oh, God. I'm leaving.


Haha.

I love this movie.