12.22.08

Ok, so I lied. I didnt think I would be hanging out again since my last fun quote post but I did so I have some funnies.

Quote:
Misti: Are you surprised I pulled it out in front of everyone?

Situation: Sigh. We were at HuHot (mongolian bbq whatever thing) and she pulled out something but now I dont remember what. One of these days I'll learn to write down EVERYTHING. Ugh.

Quote:
Misti: Holy crap. That's a lot of sauce.
Me: Holy crap. I know.

Situation: Again, at HuHot you can put all the meat/noodles/veggies/sauce together yourself and the people behind the counter cook it on one of those circular things and I had a lot of sauce in my bowl. It was good sauce though.

Quote:
Me: Arent you suppose to eat the whole thing?

Situation: Misti had a bunch of those baby corn things and she was eating it like regular corn on the cob. Yeah.

Quote:
Chase: He just went down on his corn.

Situation: Don also had baby corn on his plate and Misti wanted to throw some at Chase and I think Don started laughing and almost slammed his head into his pile of baby corn...

CATCH PHRASE OF THE DAY
Ho Ho Ho, Bitches!

Chase wants to make a movie about a killer Santa...

Quote:
Misti: I've had these annoying air bubbles in my mouth forever.

Situation: ...... I think the air bubbles came from when she had her wisdom teeth taken out.. i'm not sure..

Quote:
Hazel: Come to Lawrence. I can show you a good time.

Situation: I bet you could, Zel. I bet you could. No but really. We were trying to figure out something to do and we all agreed that there's nothing we could do here in town. Lawrence is pretty fun actually.

Quote:
Craig Ferguson [late night talk show host]: Burger King has a new brand of cologne. I know!! Apparently it smells like beef. Guys can now say they're home of the whopper.

Quote:
Craig Ferguson: Did you know, Russians can now get the disney channel for FREE?! I know! Us Americans have to pay for it. No wonder Mickey Mouse has red pants and gloves. Oh man, I think I just called Mickey Mouse a communist.

Quote:
Me: Oh wow, I almost said something bad.
Chase: Tell me what you were gonna say.
Me: I almost asked you, "If you were a boy..."
Chase: Oh, Thanks.

Situation: Haha. My bad. We were shopping at Wal-Mart and I was trying to shop for my brother and I wanted to ask Chase what he would want for Christmas not thinking he was already a boy.

Alright. That's all for now. I'm pretty sure I wont have anymore til after the holidays.

12.20.08

Got a few goods ones today :) My friends Chase, Hazel, Kris, Don, and I were hanging out at the mall for like 8 hours today. Good times.

Quote:
Hazel: It's in there already.
Chase: Thats what she said.

Situation: If only I would remember.

Quote:
Chase: Classes are gonna suck next semester. I have a lab at 7:30 in the morning. But its the only way I could fit it in.

Situation: Chase complaining about his early lab next semester. I think we were at the Bamboo Buffet if I'm not mistaking...

Quote:
Me: I failed my finals, BUT I failed good enough to bump up my grade.

Situation: I did fail my finals, *sadness* but it actually bumped up my overall grade. I dont know how but whatever. :D

Quote:
Hazel: I will bite that if you dont take it out of my face.
Kris: I will bite you back!

Situation: Self explanatory. Well... Kris was pointing his finger in Hazel's face. YES HIS FINGER! I dont know what for though. I wasnt paying attention.

Quote:
Me [singing]: Mamma Mia! Here I go again. My my - I AM LEGEND!!
Chase: That's what she said.

Situation: This one was one of those "you had to be there moments" but anyway, all 5 of us were in Best Buy and I started singing the Mamma Mia song (cuz I saw the movie on the shelf) and then I turned around and saw the movie I Am Legend and I squealed at obviously the wrong moment.

Quote:
Don: Am I large or medium? Hm. I think I'm medium now. I dont know.

Situation: Don is in the Navy and he lost some weight at boot camp the past couple months and he couldn't deside if his clothes were size large or did they drop down to medium. Dunno, Don. You're decision. But if you ask me, medium, buddy.

Quote:
Don: Screw buying my mom a charm. I'll buy her knives.

Situation: Obvious. Don's mom wanted some kind of charm for christmas and he couldnt find it so I guess he's getting her a kitchen knife set for christmas.

Quote:
Me: I just got butt touched!

Situation: This was my favorite. While we were at the mall, days before christmas, you can imagine how packed it was, and yes, I got butt touched. It was a given it would happen eventually but that fact I nearly screamed it made it priceless.

Quote:
Kris: Do you want me on there?
Hazel: Only if you want to be on there.
Kris: Well I dont.
Hazel: So dont get on then.

Situation: They were talking about facebook I swear. Kris doesnt have one yet and Hazel secretly wants him to have one.


That's all for tonight. Check back after the holidays for more!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

12.17.08

Quote:
Me: Have you all started yet?
Sally: Yep and i wish you were doing it with me.
Me: You're doing it with Misty right?
Sally: Yep.

I'm not gonna go into an explanation of it. I'll just leave ya wondering :)

Love ya, Sally! <3

12.15.08

Alrighty, I just got back from an afternoon of fun with Chase and Lukus. You all know what that means...

Quote:
Me: I feel something cold and wet up there.

Situation: I have no idea.

Quote:
Lukus: Suck up the sauce.
Me: Did you say suck or fuck...
Chase: Thats what I was wondering.
Lukus: Oh my god, I said suck.

Situation: One of Chase's friends, Sam, was complaining about all the wasted sauce on her plate. Hence what Lukus said.

Quote:
Lukus: Dont choke!
[few second pause]
Lukus: That's what she said! Haha! Yes!

Situation: Chase was choking on... air I believe...

Quote:
Lukus: Hey, look! A squirrel!
[he then procedes to hump me]
Me: Okay... the sad part is I actually looked.

Situation: Chase, Lukus, and I were in the mall and Lukus was getting up all in my space and he tried to distract me so he could annoy me some more with his inappropriate body touching.

Quote:
Lukus: If we want to hide, we should do it in Wet Seal. No one goes in there.
Chase: Nobody goes in there; not even velociraptors.

Situation: Obvious. We were trying to get away from the evil mall people. Wet Seal is a very tacky store (for those who dont know). It makes the quote better just because of it's title.

Quote:
Lukus: Hey, hobo santa!
[proceeds to take a fake picture]
Lukus: Thanks! Here... have a toothbrush.

Situation: This guy walked by, had a beer gut and a long white beard.. like Santa. Lukus said he was a hobo santa.

Quote:
Chase: Ooo, strawberries.
Me [trying to look for said strawberries]: Where?
Chase: There.
[Me looking everywhere for said strawberries, finally find them.]
Me: Oh, there.
Lukus: Where?
Me: Behind you.
Lukus: Oh. Oh my god, those are huge!
Chase: That's what she said.

Situation: Said strawberries was a big wooden sign that had strawberries carved into it. I have no idea what it's for.

Quote:
Me: Stop sperming me, guys.

Situation: Apparently, if you go up to someone and poke them while wiggling your arm up and down, that person becomes the "egg" and your arm becomes the "sperm" and that's what Chase and Lukus kept doing to me.

Quote:
Me: I have 8 now. That's a record.
Chase: Thats what she said...

Situation: I always type out funny quotes in my phone (but now I invested in pocket sized notepads for easier rememberance) and I actually got 8 quotes today. Woo.

Quote:
Lukus: I'm trying to find and opening!!

Situation: He was doing the sperming thing to me (insert rolling eyes here).

Quote:
Me: I dont like threesomes anymore.

Situation: Chase, Lukus, and I were sitting on a bench in the mall and I was between them. They started pushing on me from either side, you know.. the "sandwich" thing people always do in high school and such. Yeah.

Quote:
Me: Chase, I think you have glitter on your noes because it's sparkling.
Lukus: We should put glitter on a baby's butt so when it farts, it farts glitter!

Situation: Yeah....

Well, thats all for now!

12.13.08 part 2

I have quite a few fun quotes to share with you all. My friend Misti, Chase and I were hanging out at Hastings and then the mall this afternoon. Lucky me, I get quotes for my blog. Woo!

Misti: Where'd you get this from?
Me: Just shove it somewhere.

I think we were at Hastings and Chase picked up a cd, showed Misti and she tried to put it back but couldn't figure out where it went. Hence what I said.

This next one, I'm not sure what the story behind it is, but I type down everything in my phone that I hear or say. It's always brief so half the time I dont remember the situation.

Misti: Holy shit!
Chase: That's what she said.

This one is when we were all sitting down in the food court at the mall.

Misti: What time is it?
Me: Look at your phone.
Misti: It's in my pocket.
Me: So get it out!
Misti: You get it out!
[bunch of laughter]

After I typed this quote, every quote from now on, Misti kept hitting me.
Dont be funny then, Misti!!!

Ok, this one is a good one.

Misti: Put your head back down!

Haha.
Situation: Chase was laying his head on the table. Misti, I guess, made a paper airplane, and was going to throw it at Chase when he had his head down, but he lifted it up just in time..

Chase: Should've gotten the small one.
Misti: They didnt have any small ones.
[laughter]
Misti: I like them big.

Chase was making fun of Misti because she couldnt go into the book store with her giant ice cream cone..

Misti: Does it have to be so big?
Me: Yes.
Chase: That was a good answer.

Misti had found a giant book about horses.

This last one has to be my favorite.

Misti: Oooh lets go in the pink store and spray nasty stuff on each other.

Now I bet you see why its my favorite. We were walking past Victoria's Secret... its so pink and the perfume is kinda nasty... too strong.

Ok, that's all I got tonight.

Check back soon!

12.13.08

Girl 1: Just get in there!
[5 minute pause]
Girl 2: Dont come out without pants on!

Thanks, girls. Totally made my day at work not so bad. :)

12.9.08 part 2

Blair [attempting to spell christmas]: How do you spell Christmas?
Me: How old are you?
Blair [laughing]: Twenty-two!
Me: So you've had twenty-two christmases and you still cant spell christmas?
Blair [still laughing]: Is it C-H-I-R-S-T-MAS? Chrrrriistmas...? Megan! How do you spell it!
Me: [laughing my ass off]: Its C-H-R-I-S-T-MAS... doof.

Love ya, Blair!

12.9.08

So tonight at dinner, my future mom, Donna, her daughter, Blair, and her boyfriend, Mark, and myself were all talking about how to use an ATM machine because apparently, Mark has never used one. So I wont explain anything else, I'll just type down the convo.

Blair: When did you do it?
Mark: I havent done it yet. Mom was gonna show me how sometime.
Blair: I know but you had to have done it at some point.
Mark: No, not really.
Me: It's ok, Mark, us girls can show you how.

I swear we were talking about ATM machines. But you know me, I sat there and laughed to myself. Not out loud this time because then Mark would've started laughing and then Blair would've started laughing and then I would've laughed harder and then Donna would've started laughing. Nothing but a big laughter fest. Woohoo.

Sorry, thats all for now.

12.8.08 part 2

OMG PART 2!

So I was looking through my message archive on yahoo messenger to see what sort of stuff I talked about in the past with people and I found some I'm willing to share...

Me (5/22/2008 12:30:32 PM): boo
Dad (5/22/2008 12:30:51 PM): hi
Me (5/22/2008 12:31:12 PM): asd;lkja;dsklfjlak;dsjflkajsdflkjasdklfjslfkj
Dad (5/22/2008 12:31:19 PM): asdflkjsdlkfjsdklfjlaksdjflkajsdflkjsdfasd
Me (5/22/2008 12:31:21 PM): LOL

I dont really believe this was absolutely necessary but atleast my dad played along. Go, dad, brownie points for you.

Dad (6/27/2008 9:26:29 PM): sleepy
Me (6/27/2008 9:26:36 PM): so go to bed
Dad (6/27/2008 9:26:57 PM): no you youre yawing
Me (6/27/2008 9:27:12 PM): do you have eyes in the back of your head now?
Dad (6/27/2008 9:27:32 PM): toooo many hash browns
Me (6/27/2008 9:27:45 PM): so dont eat so many
Dad (6/27/2008 9:28:10 PM): okkkkkkkkkkkkkay
Me (6/27/2008 9:28:24 PM): *rolling eyes*

More points for you, dad. Might I mention, we were seriously not even 5 feet apart.

Megan (5/28/2008 11:00:23 AM): i hear you're anxious
Gill (5/28/2008 11:00:23 AM): BOO
Megan (5/28/2008 11:00:26 AM): i win !
Gill (5/28/2008 11:00:30 AM): YES LETS GO LOL
Megan (5/28/2008 11:00:35 AM): lol hang on

this is only the beginning of a convo but i thought it was funny because neither of us specified what who was anxious for. HAHA. Love ya, Gill.

Megan (7/3/2008 2:02:47 PM): can you see it now???
Gill (7/3/2008 2:02:58 PM): wooooooo nice
Megan (7/3/2008 2:03:05 PM): :D
Gill (7/3/2008 2:03:58 PM): so have u decided on a name change yet
Megan (7/3/2008 2:04:08 PM): not yet

I swear to you, this was the entire convo. Sadly enough, I dont remember what the point was.

Gill (11/20/2008 3:13:45 PM): guess what
Megan (11/20/2008 3:13:49 PM): chicken slut
Gill (11/20/2008 3:14:01 PM): beg your pardon
Megan (11/20/2008 3:14:04 PM): lmao

The beginng of another convo. Haha. The what part turned out to be that she got free club pogo on www.pogo.com for 2 weeks. Had to tell me.

That's all the funnies I found.

Be sure to check back!

12.8.08

Back so soon you say?

Heck yeah!

Chase and I had our usually (and we agreed to once a week) trip to the mall. Just mentioning Chase probably says "Oh no, 'thats what she said jokes'" BUT not today. He said some of course... but I didnt write them down. I know, "damn you!" But I have a pretty good one.

Me: *loud gasp* I ripped it!

I swear I was talking about a calendar. You know the damn plastic things over them? Yeah, that's what I ripped. I promise.

Sad to say, that's all I aquired. One of these days I will invest in a pocket notebook and one of those cute tiny pens. :)

Laterz.

12.7.08

Today, my dad, his girlfriend (Donna) and myself went out for a drive to look at the Christmas lights and we drove past Panera Bread:

Me: What do they have at Panera?
Dad: ...
Me: Besides bread.
Dad: Well, they have sandwiches.
Donna: I hate them. They're so hard.
Dad: Oh I know. And expensive.
Donna: If I'm gonna eat them, I prefer soft ones.
Dad: Me too. I'd rather go to Quiznos.
Donna: Even they arent good.
Dad: Exactly.

I'm sitting in the back seat cracking up and they have no idea why. Just the fact that they dont understand the hilarity of what they just said made it all that more funny.

Now, this next one was when my dad, Donna, her daughter Blair, and myself took a trip up north to visit a college I want to go to

Blair: Megan, do you like cucumbers?
Me: Sure.
Blair: Do you masturbate with them?
Me: What?!
Blair: Do you mas-
Me: I heard what you said. That was completely inappropriate.
Blair: Penis!
Me: So was that.
[as we pass by a taco bell]
Me: I'm hungry for a taco.
Blair: Megan! I didnt know you were like that!
Me: Oh shut up!
Blair: Hehe

Blair is gonna be my future sister... God help me.

Ok, time for one more before I gotta hit the hay.

Donna [about Christmas light bulbs]: They got some big ones over there.
Me: But those are gross.
Donna: Pttht.
Me: Oh oh oh! Look! They totally decked their house out with blue ones!
Dad [with a funny voice]: Yeah that's just so pretty.
Me: Dad... you did that a bit too well.
Donna: Haha!
Dad: Ooooh those are so sparkley!
Me: Dad, stop... you're scaring me.

Good times, goooood times.

Alright. I'm off to bed.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

12.4.08

I'm getting behind on blogging, but I promise I'll try harder to listen for funny stuff.

As for yesterday (december 3rd), my friend Chase (I know he's like in every blog I post but hey... he gives the funny) and I were walking around the mall when we ran into our friend Kris. We started talking and eventually we started talking about Don (another friend of ours, and yes I do have female friends... they just aren't funny...). Now, Don used to have the worst handwritting ever. Took up atleast two lines on WIDE ruled paper. No joke. But, he joined the Navy and I guess they have a special way to write letters and his handwritting is smaller. So, with the background said, here was the conversation:

Me: It's like a fourth of the size it used to be.
Kris: That's amazing.
Me: I know. It only takes up one line.
Chase: Ya know, if someone where to walk by, they'd think we're talking about something sexual with the "...fourth of the size it used to be" and "it only takes up one line" kinda talk..

Good point, Chase. Might I add, that was the end of that convo LOL.

Chase and I went to our usual, probably once a week, trip to Hastings the other night and we were looking at calendars. I found a calendar of the Beatles and their album covers but it was too expensive. Then Chase found a miniature one. Here's the convo:

Chase: Here's a mini Beatles calendar. Buy it.
Me: I dont like mini ones. I like the big ones.
Chase: That's what she said!

Yes, Chase, me being a she, that's what I said :P Good one.

Another thing, I just thought of;
One of my friends, Gill (she's awesome, lives in the UK, she's my idol because i'm a UK brat) and myself always talk about tacos and sausages in a really dirty manner. Like, beyond the fact that it's actually a food. Yeah, I know... gross right? Wrong! Hilarious! One day we were talking about "tacos" and "sausages" and randomly Gill says, "You know, I've never had a taco" and thinking she wasnt talking about food, I says, "You've had the same boyfriend for 17 years, unless you had an experimental childhood, I wouldnt think you'd ever have a taco" and she says, "No, I'm serious now. I've never had a taco." The fact she says she was being serious says to me she's not because she never is. But I soon understood she was talking about food. I guess some people really never have tacos... which kinda surprised me..

Alright, well, that's all for this post. Promise I'll post more often!