11.23.08

Been a few days, I know, I apologize. Havent been able to find some blog worthy quotes but I managed to gather a few last night.

For starters, yesterday when I was walking around the store I work at, two other workers walked by, a guy and a girl, and here's what I heard:

Guy: I like sausages.
Girl: That sounds awkward.
Guy: It was meant to be.
Girl: Oh... are you gay?
Guy: Mhm.

That right there kind of made my day because I used to think my friends and I were the only people who understood the dirtyness of sausages.

Next on my list is one that took place at Hastings (movie/book/video game store) with my friend Chase. We were looking at Nightmare Before Christmas stuff and he found some lip balm. Here's what was said:

Chase: Look, deadly lip balm.
Me: Is it deadly?
Chase (in a whisper): It's deadly.

Haha.

Alright, last one for now was also from Hastings. I think we were talking about mints. But anyway.. :

Me: I dont like those mints.
Chase: I think they're really good!
Me: They taste like the aluminum can they come in.
Chase: You taste like aluminum.
Me: How do you know what I taste like?
Chase: Touché.

We were actually standing in line to pay for the stuff we found and I think the cashier thought we were nuts...

That's all for now, thanks for reading!

11.16.08 - part 2

So I got bored and decided to search the wonderful "internet webs" as my favorite late show talk show host says. That would be Craig Ferguson in case anyone was wondering. But anyway, I found some fun bumper sticker quotes and I decided to share them.

Caution: I drive like you do!

Strangers have the best candy.

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.

No, I dont have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and then its gone.

I didnt ask to be princess but if the crown fits...

Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go.

Watch out for the idiot behind me!

I brake for.......... OH SHIT NO BRAKES!

There are two types of pedestrians: the quick and the dead

0 to 60 in 15 minutes!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who cant.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

BAD COP! - NO DONUT!

Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous.


Some of these I actually want to put on my car now.
I found some other cool stuff on this site (I'll post the link at the end) Here are a few answer machine voices...

Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message. BEEP.

A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....

Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.

WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later.

Alright, this is it for this post. There's plenty more fun stuff at www.goodquotes.com

Over and out!

11.16.08

You know when you're hanging out at the mall or the store or somewhere and you randomly pop in to a conversation, whether it be between two people actually there or one of those bloody one-sided conversations? Depending on what they're talking about, it can be taken sexually or very awkwardly.

Today, I was sitting in the living room of my house and my dad and his girlfriend (Donna) were in the other room (out of eye sight) and all of a sudden I hear this conversation:

Donna: "Put your hand right here and put pressure on it."
Dad: "Here?"
Donna: "No, right there."
Dad: "Right here?"
Donna: "Yes, there. Now push."
[Donna screams]

As I got over the awkwardness of this conversation, I laughed of course, making them wonder what was so funny. So I explained the comedy of their conversation and as a result, they laughed followed by a bit of blushing.

That was the best part of my wonderful Sunday.

11.15.08 - part 2

I realize, technically, it's now 11/16 BUT I just got home and my quote is from 'yesterday.'

Alright, so, my dad's girlfriend decided to come down for the night and have dinner with us. We went to an expensive steak restaurant (which is where I decided that I was perfectly happy not liking meat.) My dad and his girlfriend both had steaks, me, being smart (took 2 hours for their steaks to cook) I had pasta, yum. But thats not the point. Once we got back into the truck and headed home, my dad's girlfriend said, "My gosh, that was a nice tender and juicy piece of meat." NO JOKE. I busted out laughing and so did she, then my dad finally got it (insert rolling eyes here) and he started laughing. That made my night.

I'll try to look harder for some fun quotes.

Good night!

11.15.08

Been a while since I gathered some fun quotes but I have some today. All of which have the same theme.

My friend Chase and I went to the wonderful Wally World today. We wondered through the toys (nothing weird about two college kids roaming the toy section) and we saw this kick-ass dinosaur. I dont know if it was remote controled or what but this thing was life size for a 5-6 year old! LIFE SIZE! So, naturally, I said, "This thing is HUGE!" and without missing a beat, Chase said, "That's what she said!"

Good times, good times.

Of course, we had many more "This is huge!" "That's what she said!" moments through Wally World and even Best Buy.

I love my friends..

11.10.08

Ok, so the other day, I think it was Saturday, I was hanging with my friend Chase and we came up with one funny quote which is: "What came out?"

The sad part is, neither him nor I remember what we were talking about.

BUT

I did come to a conclusion that it could be from our conversation about what movies were out now but I dont remember the point of it's funny-ness.

Oh well. There will be more to come so no worries.

11.5.08

So I dont have many quotes from today and I wont have anymore for today so I'm gonna post the ones I have.

Chase: I really wanted to nerf the president..

Chase: Yours has a light.
Me: So does yours. It wasnt open all the way.
Chase: That's what she said.

Chase [showing me K-State earrings]: Here you go.
Me: I dont like dangley things.
Chase [five minutes later]: You should put that in your blog.
Me: What?
Chase: You dont like dangley things.
Me: Oh.
Chase: That's what she said..

Chase: I like how these journals are so fancy. Yet I have a blog. I cant sit down and writed in a journal.
Me: Writed?
Chase: Yes... writed.
Me: That's going in my blog. [typing "writed" in my phone using quick T9] Writed is even a word in my phone's dictionary...


Another thing I'd like to add, is that Hoops & YoYo (funny characters www.hoopsandyoyo.com) are now my new fav characters.

Post Number 1

*while Chase and I were eating dinner at the Bamboo Buffet*
Me: [writing on a paper with my straw and soda] Aw, it squirted.
Chase: LOL
Me: I know, that's what she said.

Me: [while Chase was eating a green bean] It looked like you just sucked on that and didnt actually bite it off.
{pause}
Chase and I: LOL

*while facebook chatting*
Me: i'm getting off now
Chase: o snap
Chase: that's what she said

Misti: I want a free refill.
Me: That's what she said.

Misti: [after walking into Charismo] Nick has a 69 inch sword.
{pause}
Chase and I: LOL
Me: So how does it look?
Misti: It’s a killer.

Chase: I wish I had a WII Fit
Me: You’re WII Fit.
Chase: That’s what she said.

Chase: What’s the point of the Navy? They can only attack coastal cities.

Me: He was driving on the wrong side of the road!
Chase: Maybe he’s from Europe.
Me: Or Australia.
Chase: Or Austroeurope. Or maybe he’s from your mom!
Me: …
Chase: Your face!

Me: Don’t slam your hat on the ground! You’re not Spongebob. Nor Squidward.
Chase: [in Squidward’s tone of voice] I’m Squidward.. I bet if I had a bulbous nose, I could talk!

Me: Sometimes I believe my life is like the Office. Everything is a “That’s what she said!” moment.
Chase: Or that life is directed around finding quotes that are facebook worthy.

Elsa: I'm tired of the fucking singing.
Me: It's a fucking musical.
Elsa: Well that explains the singing.

Mary: idk what im goin to wear tonight grrrrrrrrrrrr
Me: grrrrrrrrrrr
Mary: i know the jeans i have on and i THINK my boots but not sure on the shirt
Me: *rolls eyes*
Mary: lol
Mary: well if you wear something that shows ur ladies guys will buy you drinks
Me: shows your ladies.. LMFAO
Me: thats going on facebook

Me: You need to stop poking me!
Chase: It's a war! I want to see who can go the long-
*lol and inability to finish sentence*

Me: These are smaller.
Chase: These just have smaller heads.

Me: Curb. CURB!
Chase: Why is the curb so close to where I’m driving?!

Chase: I need to figure out where the parts go.

Chase: What is that?! Is that a deer?! WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT IS IT DOING?! OH! It’s just a fire hydrant.

Chase: You have chicken poop!
Me: I said print!!
Chase: Well I heard poop! You’re chicken poop!
Me: You’re a chicken!
Chase: Bawk, bawk, bawk

Introductory Post

This blog, once started, will be a huge collection of funny quotes I come across during the day. I have quite a few to get started but be prepared for much more!

Sincerly,
The "That's What She Said" Moments Police