1.27.09

Yep, it's Tuesday, which means I had my sociology class today with the funny Mr. Brainerd, a new source for my quotes since I'm hours away from my other sources.

But not the point.

As I was looking through my notebook before class today, I saw a quote that I completely forgot about last week. Mr. Brainerd was talking about religion and how many people thought our sociological views reflected on our religion. But he said, "Is anyone offended by what I'm saying about religion? I dont care if you are but I'm just checking." ... Nice, Mr. B.

Then we started talking about child abuse and child pornography which brought up the Casey Anthony case. Everyone in the U.S. knows about Casey Anthony and how she was killed in Florida supposedly by her own mother. Here's Mr. B's thoughts, "That bitch just needs to shut up. We need to stop talking to her, stop asking her questions. Pardon my language but someone needs to bitch slap her into last week." ... Haha. That's my second favorite for the day.

My favorite, this one's good, was when Mr. B was talking about every day people who abuse their kids in public by hitting them or cussing at them. He was talking about this one guy at Wal-Mart who called his kid a worthless asshole because the poor kid picked up the wrong can of something. Then he goes on to say, "If this dude wasn't a giant Paul Bunyan, I would've taken him down, one testicle at a time." ... Loved that one. I dont think the class could stop laughing.

For those of you who don't know Paul Bunyan, here's a picture:



And yes, Mr. B was talking about the Paul Bunyan statue. You can see the nice little man compared to Paul Bunyan.

What a good day.

I'll leave you with one last thought.

Why do people purposely leave the stickers and price tags on caps?

G'day!

And no, I'm not Australian.

1.23.09

Happy Friday!

That's my saying for the day cuz you know... it's Friday... *cricket*

Moving on.

Yesterday in my sociology class with Mr. Brainerd, we talked about the differences in men and women. One thing we talked about was who was stressed the most. Mr. Brainer says men are more stressed because, and I quote, "We have to pretend to be macho shit heads all the time." Haha. Sorry, guys. If you don't agree, might I add we were talking about the stereotypical view of men and women. Men are suppose to be tough and women are suppose to be the weak ones. Hm. Yeah well..

So I found a quote from about 5 days ago that I had put into my phone when Chase and I hung out when I was back in town. We went to Mr. Goodcents (for those of you that don't have one, it's like a Subway) and he got a sandwich to go after having a sandwich to eat at the place. Well, we went to walk around Aggieville (party central) and at some point we went to the book store. I think he bought some poster-ish type thing. It's pretty cool. But anyway, he was trying to put his other half a sandwich that he had been carrying around with him for a while in the bag but he couldn't get the bag open. So he says, "It won't go in!" And of course, I came right back with "That's what she said!" It made it funnier because he didn't realize he said it. Well, he realized what he said, but didn't take in the fact it could be turned dirty. Haha. Pay attention, Chase.

That's all the funnies I have right now. But I found something else in my phone.

Kickapoonation.

It's the name of a little toddler type school out in the middle of no where. I thought it was a fun name.

I'm out for the weekend.

Be safe and have a wonderful weekend!

1.20.09

First off, I think a congratulations is in order for our new President, Barack Obama. I did get a chance to watch the inauguration this morning and, now that I had the joy of voting, it actually was interesting. I wanted to watch his speech if nothing else and gladly, I did. I saw a bunch of people sliding on the frozen pool by the Washington Memorial and I said to one of my friends, "Ya know, I bet it would be rather embarassing to fall on my ass on national television." True story. After I said that, someone DID fall and I found quite hilarious. Haha.

Ok, enough of that.

So today, I had 3 classes (Tuesdays/Thursdays) and I love my teachers those days. My first class was Sociology (I know, gross ... blah blah blah) BUT my teacher, Mr. Brainerd, is awesome. He was talking about having nice houses, the prettiest women, the best food, and after a dramatic pause, he goes, "I bet you all think I'm some big piece of white trash." Not at all, Mr. B .... :D

So then I had lunch in the Caff, watched the inauguration, yadda yadda yah. Then I had Philosophy (I know, gross again ...) and my teacher there, Mrs. Hines, its pretty... awkward. She's like literally on the brink of 80 years old but she's doing damn good for herself. But anyway, today we talked about moral theories and all that jazz. She was reading from our book (which is scary to look at btw) and she says, "Let's leak on down to the bottom here..." Yeah. Leak. Way to go, Mrs. H. Sadly, she didnt realize she said "leak" instead of "look" and kept going. Reading that is. Not leaking. Perverts. LOL. Just kidding. So she keeps on reading and finally says something like this, "Is anyone in here normal? I know I'M normal but are you?" *insert dramatic pause* "I'm only kidding. Nobody is normal. It's like being perfect. Not gonna happen." It's not really funny but it's a true quote. After like ten minutes or so had passed, we talked about girls and sports. So she says (screams, more or less), "Girls majoring in Physical Education or Physical Therapy, or ANY girl who plays a sport is a lesbo, a dike, a homo, a butch. Whatever you call them." This kinda hurt; dike is a mean word, guys. I'm bi so I've been down the road of being called a dike. It's not fun. Dont say it. It's like saying something is "gay" is something to you is stupid. Dont do it. But it was funny for my friend who just happens to be majoring in Physical Therapy. Haha. This next quote I wrote down, I dont remember what we were talking about (knowing my teacher, she tends to babble half the time) but she says, "If you're sane, you'll go with the flow and NOT do anything drastic." Ha. Yeah. That's a "That's what she said" moment. So, I'm not sure why we were talking about the holocaust, but everytime Mrs. H attempted to say holocaust, it came out like "hollow-cause". I know she's old, but thats what makes it more funny to me. One last thing. She was talking about her niece's son, and I guess he's mentally challenged (sorry if that's the wrong term) but she goes on to talk about how his mother always beat him, slapped him, burned him, all that stuff. And I dont stand for child abuse so I stopped listening. But what she said afterwards caught my attention. She said, "He only has handicaps because his mother is an IDIOT!" She practically screamed that one too. Can't wait to see what she has in store Thursday.

Sorry this isnt in my usual format. I didnt feel like it today. LOL.

Have a happy January 20, 2009!

Band Names!

Hey, everyone! I'm that "New Poster" that Megan mentioned. We were talking about this blog today, and I told her I didn't have any really funny quotes lately (now that she's moved to Highland for college, there are a lack of funny conversations). But she told me I should post the band names list. One thing I've been doing for a while now is compiling random words that I think would make awesome band names, should I ever be in a band. Not all are that great, but I definitely have my favorite picked out. But enough about nothing, on to the band names!

- Suicidal Ricewads = I can't really recall what this was about, but it's the name that started the list. I believe it was at HuHot, or perhaps just eating Chinese food at the mall... But one of us had a small ball, or "wad", of rice fall off our plate. As if it was suicidal... Mm, not one of our better names...
- Knock On Wood - Yeah, this one... is random...
- History With a Vampire - This one's taken from Megan's story. One of her werewolf characters is complaining about having a class with the enemy, a vampire...
- Bright Light Stalker - I forget this one... I think it's from another part of Megan's story, right?
- Vampire Wars of the South - This I got from one of the Twilight Saga books, when Jasper was talking about the fighting in the South...
- Wolfsbane Grenade - This one is my favorite one, which I want to use if I ever start a band (which I probably won't). This one's pulled from my story, about werewolves and space.
- Transmogrification - I was reading Calvin & Hobbes and, well... It's a fun word.
- Dirty Rock Band - I don't remember this one, but I think we were talking about playing Rock Band, or something...
- Slap Chop - You know, it's just fun to say. Like ShamWOW!
- +1 Point - Megan and I were doing some weird point system for a while, where you got or lost points based on various things...
- Dip Stix - Megan suggested this one, randomly.
- Phantom Vibrate - Like when your phone isn't in your pocket, but you feel a text message or phone call.
- Frozen Fone - I... forget...
- Velcrow Byrd - Also, forget the origin...
- I Smell Poop - True story.
- Smells Like Poop - Variation of the previous. Actually, one would work good as a band name, and the other could be the debut album title.
- Bookcakes - A picture is worth a thousand words.

- Dizzy Widgets - A fun combo of words that we came up with after talking about computer widgets...
- Has Ruffles - This one doesn't sound as appealing as it did earlier, but it's based on a dress Megan doesn't like...

New Poster

Alright everyone, there is no longer just one fun poster, but there are two!
It's pretty cool when you can add more than one author to a blog. Double the funnies!
Just a head's up that it won't always be me now.
My friend, Chase, whom I always talk about in my quotes is now a quoter! Yeah, he's got some good stuff that's just waiting to be posted so ya'll will have to check back sooner than usual!

I dont have any quotes from normal day activities so I googled some fun bumper stickers that I'll share just so this post has something fun to read.

1.20.2009 = end of an error
I'm only speeding because I really have to poop
Ass, Gas, or Grass = nobody rides for free
If you're gonna ride my ass, at least you can pull my hair
I might be slow but I'm ahead of you!
If you can read this, BACK OFF.
Fasten your seat belt or aliens could suck you out of the car and give you an anal probe
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park yourself elsewhere.
CAUTION: driver has itchy break foot.
Keep the Earth clean! It's not Uranus!

haha.

Good night!

Facebook Status Convo.

So, I dont have any awesome quotes, but this convo my friends and I had while commenting on another friend's status.... its pretty awesome.

Angie's status: Angie is sneezy, coughy, sleepy and icky.
Gill: here have some rum
Me: no whiskey is better
Tim: aww :(
Sally: honey, you need a long stiff one...or maybe some sausage!
Me: noooooo.. that would just make her throat sore.. heavy breathing ya know.
Sally: but the juices from the sausage will soothe her throat...so it's all good!
Me: not if its hot!!
Angie: lmao id give it a try! *wink wink*
Me: oh geez, forget that.
Angie: rofl
Me: i'm not a fan of red meat anyway. tacos are way better.
Angie: hmm personally, I like them both :D
Me: depends on how the sausage is made... and how hungry i am...
Tim: such an easily misinterpreted conversation >.<
Me: i think that was the point.
Angie: as usual...he acts innocent.
Tim: i am innocent :P you just umm... corrupted me... yeah thats it ;)
Angie: I know better than that lol
Tim: lol... darn i was hoping you wouldnt notice so everyone else would believe it
Angie: yes.. sally you were right, it did help.... LOTS
Me: awkward
Angie: lmfao nothing awkward about some brandy! take yer mind outta the gutter missy!
Tim: huh... what did i miss?
Me: i'm like dead tired, practically anything i read right now is twisted so .. *sticks tongue out* whatever you had to make you feel better.. hand it over
Angie: lol umm NO, i love you but NO :P
Me: FINE. I made myself feel better ANYWAY. No thanks to you. Butthead
Angie: You made yourself huh? interesting...
Me: oh shut up
Gill: mahna mahna
Me: do doo do do do
Angie: i'm hungry btw
Me: eat a taco
Gill: that site megs lookin at might satisfy your hunger
Me: i bet it would. you could take a big chomp of one of the boob cakes
Tim: lol...

haha... all that under 1 status... love it. I always gotta read it over and over.
But the site I was looking at at the time of when gill spoke up about was this one here >> http://www.snurfy.com/daily-mixed-picdump-57/
Its actually pretty funny... look at it sometime... second picture down is the boob cakes. LOL.

Have a good weekend!!

1.12.09

Alrighty. I know its been a long time since i posted some funnies but I was working on getting like at least 5 before making a special post for them. Sooo.. enough of me talking and let's get down to business.

Quote:
Chase: It won't stay in!
Me: That's what she said.

Situation:
Chase was hanging with me when I went to get my meningitis shot and he was messing with this magazine insert that was suppose to be stuck inside the magazine but it kept falling out and he kept getting pissed... haha.

Quote:
Chase: I can't do that in my car. Jerking it makes it worse.

Situation:
On our way to the park from the DMV, my seatbelt got locked and if you jerk on it, it will unlock but apparently not in Chase's car.

So this next one, it's a funny one. I was flipping through channels one night and I picked up a couple words from each channel and this is what I heard...
"Gina gucci bag roundhouse kicked your credit card and loved it."
haha. Love it... I tend to do this more often now..

Sunday, my dad and his fiancee and I were going to Burger King to grab something to eat before taking a road trip. We got to Burger King and he says, "I suppose you want a whopper, Megan?"
Hmph. I did want a whopper but not after he made it all dirty and perverted...

Alright, so on a BK bilboard thing, it said, "Feel the heat. Try an angry whopper."
Now, after what my dad said, I just thought this was hilarious.

Quote:
Me: There's an M on my bottle.
Dad: There's a what on your butthole?
Donna: Butthole?
Me: I said BOTTLE!!
Dad: Oh, I was gonna say you're pretty flexible if you can see back there. I'm awesome and I can't even see back that far.

Situation:
No need to explain.

So that's all I have for now.

Check back laterz!